ATTN shirts available: http://www.districtlines.com/Auto-Tune-the-News

thanks to our friend Aaron for his arresting appearance in this episode!
http://www.myspace.com/asteele

also, thanks to Tchaikovsky for providing such a fiery hook (from Swan Lake):
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pyotr_Ilyich_Tchaikovsky

lyrics:

JE: Let's get it right.
ABS: Let's get it right.
JE: Shawty on the mic.

AH: The fact is that right now if you are black or hispanic,
you have a much greater chance of being arrested.
JE: Are you sayin we got thugs in the fuzz?
AH: Particularly when it comes to the war on drugs.
JE/ABS: Real talk, we got caught together smokin lettuce leaves.
JE: Lettuce leaves.
ABS: They put me in the slammer.
JE: They gave me a college degree!
ABS: WTF?
JE: In biology.
ABS: He don't know a tiger from a giraffe.

DB: It is painful, it is shameful.
ABS: Disdainful! I'm on parole.
JE: I'm keepin my glass of champagne full
top of the world.
ABS: Brick on my ankle.

DB: If you are stopped by the police
Putcha head down and just wait.
ALL: Wait!
DB: Wait.
ALL: Wait!
DB: Wait.
ALL: Wait!
DB: Don't say nothin.
ABS: Shh.
DB: Wait.
ALL: Wait!
DB: Wait.
ALL: Wait!
DB: Putcha head down
ALL: Do the dance now!
DB: Putcha head down and just wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
ALL: Putcha head down, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
AH: This is happening all the time
It's really stunning
-------------------------
PB: This has been a country built by white folks.
100% of the people who wrote the Constitution,
100% of the people who signed the Declaration of Independence,
White folks, Whi--i--i--ite folks!
I look at the track team, and they're all black folks.
I think maybe those are the fastest guys we got.
Fastest guys in the country,
Fastest in the wooooorld.
Black folks, Bla---a--a--ack folks!

SG: WTF? I think I'm having an stroke,
Suffering a white guy overload.
Doctor, doctor, can a shawty get a shot to the frontal lobe.
OH.

AS: It's not always just black and white, black and white.
We're fighting right now for a young white male
Who we felt the police abused by sticking something in his rectum.
EG: Why they gotta disrespect him?
SG: Can we please move on now, Reverend?
AS: Sticking something in his rectum.
-------------------
DL: Trouble, we got trouble right here in Capitol City.
With a capitol T, and it rhymes with B, that stands for broke!
CC: We broke!
DL: Right here in Capitol City, right here, we gotta figure out
a way to help the Americans who are about to choke!
CC: No joke!
DL: Oh yes we've got trouble. Trouble, trouble.
CC: Triple trouble.
DL: Trouble, trouble.
CC: Big time trouble.
DL: T! Rhymes with -
CC: P!
DL: Rhymes with -
CC: C!
DL: Rhymes with -
CC: G!
AG: I'm angry!!
DL: Rhymes with D.
And it stands for Democrat.
CC: Oooh.
-------------------
KC: Texting while driving is dangerous, dangerous.
EG/SG: Treacherous!
MG: Perilous!
KC: People who were text messaging were 20 times
more likely to have an accident than those who were
talking on phones instead of typing. Just say no.
EG: But I'm a sucker for peer pressure. My thumbs can't stop!
KC: Get a designated texter.
MG: [sexy breathing] Ow!
KC: People on the road can turn an LOL into a great big OMG.
ALL: People on the road can turn an LOL into a great big OMG.
People on the road can turn an LOL into a great big OMG.


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